About

I wrote this song while walking through a dark valley. My wife and I were starting a family and working through the common challenges that many young couples face, financial, personal, etc. We had spent the previous decade juggling our schedules while I pursued a degree and worked full time. During the first year of my new job I reluctantly began to realize I had made a mistake in my career goal. Reflecting back, I believe my attitude was the biggest negative contributing factor. For example, in my mind, I had been successful in all of my life pursuits up until that point. I had become a very independent human. The opposite of a collaborative team player. My point is, even if I had been competent in my job skills, my attitude doomed me. It wasn’t long before I was looking for work and looking for a plan. After many months of struggling and searching, an unexpected event happened. I came to the end of myself. I desperately needed someone else’s help. I began to learn about faith. One of the oddest things I have found true about life is that it seems our biggest challenges seem to hold the most potential for life changing choices. Over the years I have learned that the world can push us to the end of ourselves, but without grace we cannot move further. We do not have the strength, on our own, to completely escape the hardships, pain, sadness , fears, and all the other things that sometime hound us, although we can sometimes seemingly put up a good fight.  One of THE lessons I have learned in this journey is, we have a choice to pursue ourselves and try to survive it.  Or, pursue the One who created us and live.

Lyrics

I don’t know where I should be

I don’t know what I should see

I don’t know where I should go

I don’t know what I should know

 

I don’t know what I should feel

I don’t know what’s really real

I can’t tell if that’s the way

I’m not sure to go or stay

 

I’m afraid to wonder why

Should I laugh or should I cry?

It seems so hard to hold on tight

Is this wrong or is this right?

 

And all I see is this thin wire beneath my feet

And all I feel is telling me it cannot be  (x2)

 

How long will this season last?

The wind has been blowing hard and fast

My legs are weak, my breath is short

My heart is longing for a new start

 

I don’t know where I should be

I don’t know what I should see

I don’t know where I should go

I don’t know what I should know

I don’t know what I should feel

I don’t know what’s really real